I Can't Believe It's Not Butter! Spray compared to butter

"I have the cleanest record of any Presidential candidate with 0g fat – including 0g saturated fat and 0g trans fat per serving."*

"I would ensure that we never see a taste recession. I'd work with the foods of the fridge to provide the best taste without adding fat or calories."*

"It takes a constant temperature to keep the veggies crisp and the foods of the fridge fresh. That is why I will work to reverse Fridge Warming and make the refrigerator comfortable for all!"

"My commitment is to make every meal the best it can be! My great butter taste can revitalize any food or any leftover - from fish to chicken, corn to cauliflower - without adding extra fat or calories!"*

"I only believe in increasing taxes when it helps others. Just like how I have helped millions control their fat and calorie* intake without sacrificing taste."

Spraychel's Platform: Progress is Possible 'Things need to change in this fridge and my great butter taste will make it possible. After all with 0g fat and 0 calories per serving I will work with all the foods of the fridge to make everyone happy and satisfied.'

"I have 11g fat and 7.5g saturated fat and have been rich all my life. But I’ve spread myself thin for many of you until Spraychel came along. Remember that when being spritzed with her great butter taste."

"Recessions are natural. Plus it would provide an opportunity for me to do something that makes me look good, like give out tax refunds so citizens can fatten up on government cheese."

"I hired a team of scientists to research the matter. They concluded that it is impossible for the foods of the fridge to emit enough carbon dioxide to cause the refrigerator to warm significantly."

"Why should I worry about leftovers? It isn’t my problem they were left behind at meal time. In fact, if I'm elected President, I will work to ride the fridge of these squatters."

"Death and taxes are the only two certainties in life, I always say. I have no problem giving tax cuts - to those who deserve it – which are the foods that will remain rich in fats and cholesterol."

Maxwell Butterman's Platform: Maintain the Status Quo 'I see no need to change when we're so rich in saturated fats and dripping with cholesterol. I personally guarantee I will grease up every food in this fridge that votes for me and helps to maintain the status quo!

* Contains 0g fat, 0g saturated fat per serving